MATCH catches up with STOKE’s goalscoring hero for a really random conversation…



Hi Crouchy! What’s the best thing to do in Stoke right now?
“You’ve got to get over to Alton Towers and get on Nemesis! I’ve been before, but my little girl doesn’t like it. I’m actually probably too tall for some of the rides!”

If there was a Royal Rumble between all of your Stoke team-mates, who’d win?
“Glen Johnson is probably one of the strongest still at the club. Before they left, Phil Bardsley was quite aggressive and possibly Marko Arnautovic as well!”

Who’s the worst room-mate you’ve had during your career?
“Probably Jermaine Pennant. He’s constantly on the go and doesn’t want to sleep, so it’s hard to get much peace!”


If you were stuck on an island with a team-mate, who would you pick?
“My old Liverpool team-mate, Didi Hamann. He’s played in World Cups, the Champions League and for massive teams, plus he’s a real laugh, so he’d entertain me. I’m not sure he’d be too helpful getting us off the island, but we’d have lots of fun!”

Is it good to be tall in every day life, or does it get on your nerves?
“I’ve always enjoyed it, ever since I was a kid. I was always much taller than everyone else, and it’s all I’ve ever known. It definitely helped when I was younger being able to get on the rides at Alton Towers earlier than any of my friends!”


The Liverpool fans used to sing, “He’s big, he’s red, his feet stick out the bed” about you – is that true?
“It used to be, but I’ve had an eight-foot bed built so I’m alright now! But it’s weird because over the years I’ve got used to them hanging out the end, so now I still poke them out – otherwise I can’t get to sleep!”

Have you got the biggest feet in football?
”I’ve got size 12s, so I don’t think so! I think Kanu had bigger feet than mine – he was a size 13 or 14!”


What’s better – go-karting or paint-balling?
“I like go-karting! I nearly ran over Dirk Kuyt with a go-kart when we were at Liverpool! My brakes literally failed as he was getting out of his kart and I was coming into the pits, and I almost ran him over! It was an accident!”

What would you do on Britain’s Got Talent?
“I don’t know, it’s usually bizarre things on there, isn’t it? I’m not bad at holding my breath under water, so I’d probably just get in a big tub and see how long I could do it for. I’m sure
it’d be very entertaining to watch!”


Which footy training ground canteen does the best food?
“The best food was easily when I was away with England. The chef was top notch and he had a lot of variety! The chef at Stoke does the best soups I’ve ever had in my life, as well! But it’s changed a lot since I first started – we’ve got loads of different cultures and they all want different things. Before it was just like it or lump it!”

Peter Crouch was supporting the fifth season of PlayStation Schools’ Cup, the biggest grassroots football tournament in the country. Since its launch, over 150,000 players have been involved. Visit